“After which I noticed that to be seen by others, I first needed to be prepared to see myself.” ~Nameless
In a world that teaches us to be seen solely after we’re polished, productive, or pleasing, I discovered one thing sudden on the opposite facet of my digicam: myself.
However not the filtered model. Not the composed one or the “smiling as a result of I’m nice” model.
I discovered the individual I’d forgotten—the one who had spent years loving, giving, exhibiting up for everybody else however not often turning any of that tenderness inward.
I didn’t decide up the digicam to take fairly photos. I picked it up as a result of I used to be afraid I’d disappeared.
I Didn’t Need to Be Seen; I Wanted to See Myself
The thought of photographing myself didn’t come from a spot of vainness. It got here from absence.
One night, whereas making an attempt to add pictures for a courting profile after years of single parenting and heartbreak, I noticed I had no pictures that felt like me. Not the model of me who had weathered a lot. Not the model I used to be changing into.
So I quietly arrange a tripod. Brushed my hair off my face. Took a deep breath.
Click on.
The primary picture felt awkward. The second felt posed. However by the third, one thing shifted. I noticed a glimmer—not simply of who I had been, however of who I would grow to be.
This wasn’t about being photogenic. It was about presence.
Every Click on Grew to become a Quiet Homecoming
Quickly, I began photographing myself repeatedly. Alone. Unrushed.
Some days, I wore mascara. Different days, I didn’t even brush my hair. And a few days, I cried.
However each day, I attempted to indicate up as truthfully as I may.
Slowly, I started to note issues I’d missed for years:
- Energy in my eyes
- Grace in my ageing arms
- Resilience in my stillness
They weren’t simply photos. They had been whispers. Visible love letters. A means of claiming, “I’m nonetheless right here.”
And I wasn’t invisible. I’d simply been wanting by means of the fallacious lens.
I Thought I Was Taking Photos, however I Was Truly Therapeutic
We stay in a tradition that celebrates busyness and output. But it surely not often teaches us learn how to witness ourselves—particularly in stillness.
In these quiet moments behind the lens, my digicam turned a mild trainer. It held area for the model of me that didn’t all the time really feel put collectively. It didn’t ask me to smile. It didn’t decide. It simply noticed.
And in being seen—really seen, by my very own eyes—I started to heal.
My digicam turned greater than a instrument. It turned a mirror. Not the sort that criticizes or compares, however the type that claims, “You’re allowed to take up area. Simply as you might be.”
Right here’s What I Discovered (and Maintain Studying)
Via this expertise, I discovered:
- I wasn’t invisible. I simply hadn’t checked out myself with curiosity in a very long time.
- I had seemed with judgment. With fatigue. With disgrace. However not with compassion.
- These weren’t selfies. They had been self-portraits—acts of reclamation.
- I didn’t should be stunning. I simply wanted to be sincere.
Every session turned a quiet act of rise up—towards perfectionism, towards invisibility, towards the strain to carry out.
And slowly, a reality emerged: I didn’t want to attend for a milestone to be worthy of consideration.
I didn’t want a change. I wanted permission. Permission to see myself. Permission to say: That is me, now.
From Therapeutic to Serving to Others
Finally, one thing sudden occurred.
I started to share items of my story. And other people began reaching out.
- “I really feel like I’ve misplaced myself, too.”
- “I haven’t seen a photograph of myself I really like in years.”
- “I don’t keep in mind the final time I felt snug in entrance of a digicam.”
So I began photographing others—not for branding or particular occasions, however for therapeutic.
In pure mild, in secure areas, we’d create pictures that captured one thing greater than look.
We captured presence. Belonging. Reality.
One lady whispered after her session, “I really feel like I’ve come house to myself.”
I knew precisely what she meant.
You Don’t Want a Particular Event to Be Seen
In the event you’ve ever felt such as you’ve gone somewhat quiet inside…
In the event you’ve ever seemed within the mirror and questioned while you stopped recognizing the individual staring again…
In the event you’ve ever felt just like the world sees solely a fraction of who you actually are…
I would like you to know this: you don’t want to attend.
You don’t must lose ten kilos or achieve a promotion or begin a brand new relationship to grow to be worthy of your personal gaze.
You already are.
So should you’re feeling invisible, right here’s a mild invitation:
Arrange your digicam. Let the sunshine fall in your face. Be nonetheless. Click on.
The primary picture would possibly really feel unusual. The second might really feel compelled.
However preserve going.
Finally, somebody will present up in that body. And once they do, you’ll keep in mind: you’ve been right here all alongside.
About Shannon Kathleen
Shannon Kathleen is a Minneapolis-based photographer who makes a speciality of self-worth and on-line courting portraits. After navigating years of single motherhood and quiet reinvention, she started a self-portrait follow that helped her reconnect along with her identification — not as a mum or dad, companion, or skilled, however as herself. She now helps others rediscover their confidence by means of the lens. Discover her reflections, light assets, and pictures at shannonkathleenphotography.com