Listening to the acquainted crackle of my knees as I crouched down to clean my bathe, I recalled the times once I used to have the ability to clear my entire home from high to backside in a day. Although weary, I’d stand on the finish of the day relishing the dust-free shine and scent of cleanliness permeating the air.
Since then, I’ve struggled for years with the frustration of wanting my entire home completely clear . Lately, I had an epiphany: I’m now not 25, and I’ve very actual limitations on my time and bodily skills. With this revelation got here the knowledge that I have to acknowledge these limitations and be compassionate with myself. The best way ahead is solely to interrupt it down and perform a little every day; my home could by no means once more be completely clear all at one time, however I’m making progress on it on a regular basis!
The identical battle with perfectionism is so widespread within the religious life that Fr. Joe Tetlow, SJ, has coined it “perfection-itis” (“Dynamics of Ignatian Spirituality Workshop,” on-line, March 18, 2023). With the most effective of intentions, we determine that we’re going to clear home spiritually. We aspire to speedy and full progress, and when we don’t make this progress as totally or quickly as we had hoped, we surrender the trouble altogether.
The scenario will not be a brand new one. In response to St. Ignatius, after we resolve to go “from good to higher,” we should always count on the Enemy to throw curveballs to discourage our efforts:
Within the individuals who’re occurring intensely cleaning their sins and rising from good to higher within the service of God our Lord…it’s the manner of the evil spirit to chunk, sadden and put obstacles, disquieting with false causes, that one could not go on; and it’s correct to the nice [Holy Spirit] to offer braveness and power, consolations, tears, inspirations and quiet, easing, and placing away all obstacles, that one could go on in properly doing. (Religious Workout routines 315)
How can we combat “perfection-itis” and the temptation to surrender our good efforts to progress within the religious life after we don’t obtain our objectives as completely as we want?
- Break down the purpose into smaller elements or increments of time.
- If I wish to pray for an hour a day however can by no means discover that hour, I’d begin with 10 minutes a day and construct as much as 60 minutes over time.
- If I wish to attend Mass every day or every week after which I miss Mass, I’ll work with willpower to get to Mass the following day or week.
- If I wish to pray the Rosary earlier than sleeping however discover myself falling asleep after a few Hail Marys, I’d pray one decade to start out or change up the time and pray within the automobile or whereas strolling.
- If I’m decided to go to Adoration however go to sleep from exhaustion once I go at evening, maybe I’d go for half-hour within the daytime.
- If I wish to pray for the intentions of many individuals however then neglect to wish for all of them in a set prayer time, I’d as a substitute pray all through the day as every individual involves thoughts.
- Rejoice the wins with a trusted religious pal or religious director. This encouragement is significant.
- Resist the need to throw within the towel whenever you don’t meet your objectives. God is aware of that you just’re not excellent! To God, we’re at all times completely lovable amidst our imperfect human nature. It’s not a recreation of all or nothing.
- Ask for assist. Maybe pray one thing like the next:
Pricey God, I needed to ________ [Fill in your intended action here, e.g. see you at Mass, talk with you in prayer, pray the Rosary, go to Adoration.], however I haven’t as a result of I ________ [was too tired, was too busy, just didn’t feel like it, had my doubts about you, etc.]. I actually need your assist. Please ship your Holy Spirit to strengthen me. Assist me to see myself with the compassion with which you see me, and encourage me to simply accept this compassion. Remind me that you just’re at all times ready for me, and also you by no means count on me to be excellent. Assist me combat the temptation of perfectionism. Infuse me along with your love, and provides me the power and fortitude to comply with you extra practically all the times of my life. Amen.
Photograph by Crystal de Passillé-Chabot on Unsplash.