Final month, I went on my annual silent retreat at a Jesuit retreat home close to the Atlantic Ocean, Jap Level Retreat Home. It options all kinds of pure seaside magnificence, a view of the ocean, wooded paths, and a pond with swans within the hotter months. I’ve a favourite spot to which I return yr after yr, and the various reminiscences of consolations skilled over time make it straightforward to slip proper into an inside area of quiet and intimacy with God. My most cherished spot is out on the massive granite rocks close to waves which can be alternately crashing and peaceable, very similar to the actions in a retreat. There are occasions when no matter inside in me that’s stormy will get launched, and different instances I expertise days of deep inside quiet and a honey-sweet peace that deepens within the silence.
In these moments of peace, I get pleasure from simply being with Jesus—Jesus in Scripture, sure, but in addition Christ current in creation: within the songs of birds, the tiny particulars of a flower, or the expansiveness of the ocean and all its life beneath the floor. Typically I let myself be like a baby once more and lie on my again and watch clouds. I do know that what I see within the clouds is as a lot the play of my creativeness as something within the cloud formation, however St. Ignatius thought that God works by means of our prayerfully provided imaginations, too, so I let myself go there.
What form is that cloud? Oh, it’s a chook that jogs my memory of the tune sparrow I listened to earlier. I really feel grateful. That different cloud is an amusing face. It jogs my memory to be playful and never take myself or others too significantly. It’s not that I feel God is sending me secret messages within the clouds, however I do discover it opens up my creativeness to wander in a playful approach that may nonetheless be significant prayer as I discover the inside actions to which I’m led.
This yr, whereas I used to be looking on the ocean, a big, puffy white cloud began to develop shadows within it, in order that the white and the grey of the clouds have been in robust distinction. To my delight, it began to appear like phrases or a quantity. Was {that a} quantity 5 adopted by two different numbers? I laughed somewhat at myself seeing numbers within the clouds and joked with Jesus, Is that your space code? Shouldn’t it begin with a 3, for the Trinity? Whereas the entire thing appeared foolish, I performed alongside anyway. After some time, the grey components of the cloud grew to become much more outlined, and a phrase appeared to me: SUI, clearly spelled out within the heart of the cloud.
My educational specialty is historical Greek philosophy, and whereas I’m no Latinist, I did discover the phrase significant. Sui is a reflexive pronoun, like himself, herself, or itself. Those that took Latin in highschool may even acknowledge that it’s a reflexive pronoun within the genitive case, which means “of himself, herself, or itself.” The pronoun refers again to the topic of the sentence; in different phrases, it displays on the motion of the topic.
I smiled on the phrase, as a result of my entire day till then had been noticing and feeling in a deep approach how a lot each a part of creation is “of God’s self.” The cloud is of God’s self—solely there for a second, however nonetheless a mirrored image of God in creation. The waves replicate God’s gentle of their sparkle and replicate God’s being of their goodness. The tune sparrow’s tune and life are quick however glorify God, like a mirrored image. Even I, in my very own small approach, replicate God, as do my fellow retreatants sharing the silence and day by day Eucharist. Every little thing I observed that day was a sparkle of sunshine on the water, reflecting the continuing creativity of God.
The phrase within the cloud pale from view inside a couple of minutes of my seeing it, and the cloud dissipated into one other form. However the great thing about creation, even properly after leaving my retreat, abounds in all places. At my native park, I can nonetheless discover how all the opposite tune sparrows or the yellow warblers are additionally “of God’s self.” The rhododendrons blossoming on the arboretum are of God’s self. My household and buddies and the strangers I meet on the road are of God’s self. God’s reflection is there, ready for us to concentrate, even in playful (or nerdy) methods.