They’re all the time plotting on the market subsequent transfer to get what they need or fulfill their agenda with us. Their inside world is offended, darkish and lacks full empathy. They don’t have any inner mechanisms to like or care about anyone so as a substitute they feed their everlasting neediness and pathological nature by excessive manipulation. They create chaos and destruction with their abusive manners to make different’s really feel their vacancy as if to pay for his or her distress and disconnection from actual happiness and life. They imitate our actuality to attract us into their life after which into their private distress by abusing what they’ll’t ever obtain – our goodness and talent to like.
From my E book – Greg Zaffuto – Writer – From Appeal to Hurt and Every part else in Between with a Narcissist!
If they’ll efficiently hurt our good intentions and mock our empathy it permits them to disclaim their very own damaging nature and world by making us assume their distress and darkness. Distress loves firm as they are saying and a Narcissist must show to themselves that everybody else is the depressing and the damaging creature that they’re by delusional deception and destruction. They use us like a filter to diffuse their negativity and assume our goodness, empathy and love as their very own. They put on us like a disguise to stroll among the many good folks to continuously discover increasingly more provide to reap. And not using a masks (false) of actual empathy and love, their darkness would expose them and other people would keep away from each side of their being!
They bounce from relationship to relationship to create or re-create the safety or household they’ll by no means have. The sample is to safe a brand new individual to have fixed provide accessible, morph into this individual’s world with the pretense of affection, they turn out to be uninterested in the state of affairs as a result of they’re UNABLE to have an actual relationship constructed on love, they deny any fault as being their very own as a result of they lack all empathy so that they blame, devalue, dehumanize, destroy and discard after which transfer on and REPEAT this cycle with somebody new. They by no means assume any duty that they HAD love and an actual household BUT destroyed it to help their out-of-control world and perverse actions. In case you had been in a position to take a look at their previous life in a chronological order you’d solely see destroyed folks and relationships that had been all cycles of them similar abuse repeated time and again, and it might stretch again over their whole life.
They create eventualities to find your weak point or fears, and retailer them away to control you later. They don’t use language as communication, it’s for hiding, deflecting, avoiding, masking, & manipulating as a result of their attraction is totally false. They take pleasure in their very own righteousness and rightness. They try and belittle any model of actuality that conflicts with theirs. They NEVER consider they make errors even once they proof is correct there in entrance of them. They’ve an innate incapacity to really feel, course of or actually perceive disgrace from the unfavourable and hurtful issues they do to others – they’ll solely blame and apply fault to all people else. Contradict them just a few instances and you’ll really feel their uncontrolled narcissistic rage.
Their conversations and interactions aren’t meant to enlighten, however to confuse, management, and constantly create drama. They’re an enormous VOID, working to get no matter they’ll from you – principally they extort life and lives. They count on you to lend a listening ear and provides them full approval. They use emotional withdraw and silencing to create guilt, compliance and management. They are going to betray private data and secrets and techniques to really feel extra highly effective. They are going to manipulate and use flattery or protests of their innocence (crying, pleading, and begging) like a stealth weapon to attain their agenda and get their manner. They are going to use verbal abilities to dam or deflect accountability for his or her perverse and out-of-control life-style and sift blame onto YOU. They influence lives negatively however miraculously escape publicity even showing to have some constructive impact and you find yourself the unfavourable side of the connection with them.
Their unconscious thoughts is the place they create a delusional and false ego from which they relate to the entire world. They’re their very own fictitious creation that may change to suit into any and each state of affairs so long as it helps THEIR agenda and also you present them with some form of service they need AND want (we’re solely provide to them!)
Actual relationships don’t exist for them as a result of persons are an expendable objects or provide that they harvest to fulfill all of their wants after which discard once they have gotten all they’ll. We’re all solely half time gamers on the narcissist’s stage together with many others. They want main and secondary provide each waking second, so they are going to create one on one relationships to have continuous provide after which safe no matter different provide they’ll from the remainder of the world.
They’re able to having multiple relationship happening on the similar time with neither contributors being the wiser. REMEMBER they’re insatiable and inexhaustible so far as their want for provide so the world is sort of a large division retailer for them to get what they want at any time. Sadly their envy of all man/womankind additionally drives them to destroy people who have realistically believed in them or cherished them as a result of they abhor our realty and love as a result of they’ll’t be something however the senseless and soulless monster they’re. Merely calling this a character dysfunction doesn’t aptly describe the hate they show for all times and other people – the destruction they inflict does describe what and who they’re AND it’s prison! Greg