The False Exaggeration of the Sufferer – HG Tudor – Understanding The Narcissist

We might wrestle with out these twin helpers of exaggeration and embellishment as we make our mediocre achievements spectacular and our first rate accomplishments spectacular. Good for all events, a wholesome and liberal sprinkling of exaggeration makes us much more interesting and alluring. Embellishing what I’ve completed ensures I look much better than you and implies that I stay the superior particular person. Like salt and pepper at meal instances, exaggeration and embellishment are by no means removed from our type. We make the whole lot greater, higher, bolder, brighter and extra good. We like to enlarge and multiply to be able to convey simply how nice we’re, but, beneficiant souls that our type are it might not be truthful if we didn’t permit you a chance to be seen to magnify and embellish, to make a mountain out of a mole hill and blow issues out of proportion. In fact, once we present this chance to you, it has not one of the self-aggrandizing results of our behaviour for ourselves nevertheless it used as a possibility to make you see hysterical, unreliable and somebody who’s making an attempt to pin the blame on us unfairly. We use exaggeration to inflate what we’re but in addition as a method of attacking you. Listed below are twenty examples of utilizing exaggeration and embellishment to undermine you.

1. You might be hypersensitive
2. You might be over-thinking what has occurred
3. You learn an excessive amount of into what I say
4. You might be paranoid
5. You might be seeing issues which aren’t there
6. You’re making that up
7. You need to be melodramatic don’t you?
8. You aren’t that sick actually.
9. You might be over-reacting.
10. You’re making a fuss over nothing.
11. You will have misplaced your sense of perspective.
12. You’re taking issues too far at instances
13. You’re going excessive with this now
14. You press the panic button too quickly
15. You’re making one thing out of nothing
16. You might be responding in a disproportionate method
17. You might be getting over enthusiastic about this
18. You might be dropping your sense of proportion
19. You might be placing two and two collectively and making eight
20. You might be leaping to conclusions

While you hear these feedback being made by us, you need to grow to be conscious that we’re utilizing such a remark to deflect what you’re saying by making an attempt to trivialise it by suggesting you’re exaggerating its impact or significance. Using phrases corresponding to these are inventory tells by us that you’ve landed a blow towards us and we have to scale back its affect promptly. The best method to do that is to not solely diminish the import of what you will have mentioned however then to make you query your individual behaviour by making the dialog about you, slightly than us. This will even provoke you by irritating you. You might be being denied the chance to advance your agenda and this can improve your emotional response. This not solely offers us gas, it additionally implies that you lose sight of your level as you’re derailed by conducting the dialogue in a logical style as you’re pushed by us into the territory of emotion. As soon as emotion has taken maintain of your pondering we’re far abler to use this to our benefit. Recognise these feedback and perceive their significance if you end up partaking with our type so you’ll be able to withdraw from or neutralise their impact.