Content material Warning: This essay discusses suicide
This month has been a tough month for disabled folks, particularly in the case of watching the information. Within the UK, this contains cuts made to PIP, a UK push for disabled folks to enter the office while enabling stricter profit sanctions for individuals who don’t return into work—even when the office is dangerous.
![Tweet by London Broadcasting Company presenter Tom Harwood reading, "Make all of the free cars the government give out to people with autism or ADHD look like this and see how many people 'really' need to claim them."Accompanying the tweet is a photo of a small green car with the word "Motability" written in large letters across both the passenger side doors. Under the initial tweet is a response by Tom Forth reading, "Yep. I think it's this graph by Bloomberg that's pushed it into the mainstream. If you'd asked me to guess I'd have guessed 5% or something. And maybe I'd have been okay with 10%. But 20% is just ... that's so many..."]](https://thinkingautismguide.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/Screenshot-2025-04-06-at-6.46.02 PM.png)
After which, I got here throughout a tweet by Tom Harwood on X, adopted by a clip on TikTok of a London Broadcasting Information presenter stating that disabled persons are “not disabled.”
Taking to threads, I shared my expertise within the office to indicate how unsafe it may be for a disabled particular person, and inside a day it had 531 likes and 71 reposts. Clearly this was a dialog available. My story comprises mentions of suicide and self hurt, in addition to bullying, however in sharing it I hope to indicate the truth of an autistic particular person’s life.
I entered the office from a mainstream faculty on the age of 16, with none form of transition. I had by no means had an EHCP (Training and Well being Care Plan) and had acquired little or no help in class, and so didn’t find out about variations in behaviour or the way you’re meant to speak or work together within the office. Inside a number of months I’d acquired a disciplinary for not following the principles and for speaking about “unsuitable” issues. I’d even been referred to as cocky for not responding to one thing my boss had mentioned, however the reality was I simply hadn’t processed it correctly and was unable to verbalise a response.
After being formally disciplined—which, as a 16 yr outdated autistic lady, was essentially the most terrifying expertise of my life—I started having panic assaults on the considered even going to work. I might already inform that folks thought I used to be bizarre. I by no means mentioned the proper factor or reacted the proper approach, and I didn’t have the data or bravery to have the ability to advocate for myself at that age.
In my second apprenticeship, I started working in a company workplace. As a rule, should you have been on the entrance desk you couldn’t be seen to be consuming or consuming. With the lengthy stretches of going with out meals and water, I finished having the ability to recognise once I was hungry or thirsty. It additionally helped retrigger my consuming dysfunction because it grew to become the norm for me to not eat at work. I misplaced an enormous quantity of weight while there, surviving off spoonfuls of peanut butter.
The following job at a well being meals firm was the primary time my physique rebelled after all of the stress. They thought I didn’t need to be there simply because I had clean facial expressions and had pulled me into the workplace for not following the principles of the cellphone programs, regardless that I’d by no means been proven them. I used to be six stone on the time, and I started to interrupt out in hives and had an enormous purple blotch on the facet of my face.
In my first full time job (not an apprenticeship), I tried suicide after a yr. I had a group chief who would inform me to depart my incapacity on the door, and would have me transferring heavy recordsdata round regardless that she knew I additionally had cerebral palsy. It was an open plan workplace and everybody might hear the vitriol she used to spew at everybody in her group, however nothing was ever mentioned or executed. It was as if it was regular behaviour. After my try, I used to be given two weeks off after which I went again, however nothing had modified. I stop quickly after.
After transferring into the authorized sector, I skilled much more discrimination. In my shortest stint, which solely lasted 4 months, I discovered a spreadsheet was going spherical with my title on it a number of occasions. They have been calling me a moody bitch, commenting on my ear defenders and the way bizarre I used to be. The women can be good to my face however then say how unusual I used to be behind my again. How I both gave an excessive amount of or too little eye contact. They wished to jot down “glad you’re leaving” in my card, and one of many managers commented on how I’d most likely go residence and slit my wrists.
In my final ever job in authorized, earlier than I moved sectors, I used to be pulled into the assembly room with out warning and berated for inflicting “an environment” and making everybody uncomfortable. Once more, it was right down to my lack of facial expressions and lack of ability to catch on to banter. I needed to endure virtually an hour of criticism, after which was left hyperventilating on the ground in certainly one of my worst meltdowns ever. I used to be additionally teased relentlessly for what or how a lot I ate, and once more I went again to limiting my meals consumption at work in order that nobody mentioned something about it. After the confrontation, I handed my discover in, and so they have been very wanting to get me out of the door.
For ten years I skilled the worst type of hell, and it has left me with scars that can by no means heal. Every part that has occurred is right down to abled bodied, neurotypical folks not wanting to know what autism truly entails, and never desirous to create a protected working setting as a result of it doesn’t profit the abled working class. Due to my experiences, I willingly work a job that pays much less, and work fewer hours, as a result of it’s a safer setting that has some understanding on autism. I tiptoe the poverty line each month simply so I will be protected.
The brand new cuts and push for disabled folks to go straight to work will trigger many experiences like mine, and that terrifies me. Within the coming yr, will we see a rise in suicide within the autistic group? Will autistic folks be pressured to masks and conceal their incapacity in order that they will hold their job? None of this has been considered, and nobody within the authorities is contemplating these struggles.
Though my story is gloomy to learn, I hope it helps others perceive what is going to occur to disabled folks within the office. Discrimination is perhaps towards the legislation when it comes to hiring, however there are different methods to discriminate as soon as an individual is within the office, and it occurs frequently. If this isn’t understood, and modifications aren’t made, disabled folks can be pushed into unsafe environments and the consequences may very well be catastrophic.
